the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
