does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
whose parrot is this?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
