u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
