we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
