You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
