Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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