your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
