I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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