I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
