First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
