We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
