Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
