he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
