Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Porn is love you can see.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Soap is not a condiment
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize