last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
