Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
