I accidentally burped into my bong.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
