Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
