Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
