living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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