i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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