were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
