I think I won the penis lottery.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
