I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there is glitter all over my balls
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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