U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
