I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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