i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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