Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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