If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
