why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
