She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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