Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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