I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
