im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
