hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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