I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
