I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
