after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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