Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
