get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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