He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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