The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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