When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
