I just made out with a guy for $7.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
