thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
