apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
