There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
