she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
