Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
