Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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