I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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