i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
