Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
