You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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